World’s Worst Resume

Sometimes a resume comes to me that makes me wonder how this person has ever been employed in the first place.  There is one resume in particular that stands out in my mind, and I’m going to list a few parts of this resume that are of particular interest, and tell you why it’s so terrible, in case it is not obvious.

 

Let’s start at the beginning

PERMANENT ADDRESS Clinton Township, MI 48038

 

This is the heading on the resume.  I have not edited it.  There is no name, and no contact information AT ALL!  How can I hire you if you are anonymous????

Employment Experience

 

This person proceeded to list about 3 PAGES of work experience.  The fonts were all different, there was no logical form of outlining, and none of the jobs were at all relevant to the job he was seeking.  Here are a few of my favorite entries (Again, the fonts are as they were on the resume):

 

Hammell Music, Utica, MI Piano Sales  June 2000 – August 2000 -Acquired experience in piano sales  MBIG Music Business Internet Guide, New York, NY Employee, August 1997 – August 1998 -Researched several unknown music web site locations.  South Dakota State University, Brookings, SD Student, August 1996 – May 1999 -Studied basic information about many woodwind, brass, percussion and string instruments through instrumental method classes.    Asbury College, Wilmore, KY Student, September 1989 – May 1994 -Studied basic information about many woodwind, brass, percussion and string instruments through instrumental method classes.

 

For the first two entries, I cannot for the life of me figure out how this person was an asset to either of these companies.  As for the 3rd and 4th “jobs”……….if you already listed your education (which he did) why are you using your student status as work experience???  FYI guys, being a student, difficult as it may be, does not qualify as work experience.  And by the way, your musical expertise does you no good in an administrative assistant position, unless of course you new boss enjoys having his memos sung to him and accompanied by the oboe. 

 

 

Is it really that special?

 

SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS  Languages: fluent in both Spanish and English. Computer Programs: -AS400 (recording dealer calls, searching for customers’ information, checking Mopar library, assisting vehicle dealers with their needs, and many others) -Power Point (for lectures) -Microsoft Word (including cut and paste, copy, clear, screen-print, font size variation, and Microsoft graphics), willing to go through typing test to show the typing speed -Outlook (calendar and email) -Excel (using for Ford dealership information, mathematics), using this program in fun ways -TASAR (reserving airplane tickets, getting voucher information, confirming reserved flights, answering questions about baggage allowances, giving airport telephone numbers) -Appleworks 6.0 (Macintosh version of word processing)

  

Ok, first off, this formatting is just terrible.  He says he can use word, yet he can’t put in some bullet points or something?  And, why is the entire resume centered???  Also, while I didn’t show you the entire 4 page resume, he says that he is fluent in Spanish and English at least 2 or 3 times per page, so is it really necessary to put it here again???  My favorite line of all time though is the part where he says that he uses Excel “in fun ways”.  As an employer, do I really care how much “fun” you have with Excel?  No, I do not.

 

Now, before you start telling me what a mean person I am for ripping apart this resume for all to see, please know that it’s for your own good.  As someone who has done hiring before, I can tell you that had this resume come to me in response to a job posting, I would have thrown it in the trash.  I don’t want that happen to you.  In future posts, I’ll have some lovely examples on how a resume should look, I promise.

 

On a different note, I do apologize for my own terrible formatting on this post.  I’m still trying to figure out this blogging stuff!  🙂

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