A little less legitimate than my wife? … Maybe

Well, it is apparent that if I do not step up and write a blog here, well, it isn’t going to write itself.  So when I think of what to write about on our blog I honestly am not sure what to go with.  I don’t want to just ramble off a lot of witless rhetoric, which is most fun for me, for that may take away from Shawna’s expertise.  No, instead I will dabble in many categories at once, all the while, trying to maintain some semblance of a theme.  This will, more than likely, appease both my ADD and my slight OCD tendencies.  That being said, today I have chosen to introduce more of me, and what it is I have done, currently do, and intend to do. 

It has already been acknowledged, if I remember correctly, that I am indeed a stay-at-home dad.  This is true, and until recently, it was all I did.  But, to be honest… it doesn’t pay well, and I now have 2 side jobs.  I will say this, for ANY man out there who thinks it is less than “manly” to be a stay-at-home dad and take care of house duties i.e. feed, bathe and raise the kids daily, clean and cook, I tell him that is precisely one of the major problems today.  The most manly thing a man can do is simple… be a man.  When a man passes off work on his “woman” he not only belittles her worth, but shows the low value of himself.  At the risk of sounding like an angry man who thinks all men are idiots, let me say that I believe most men agree with that statement, thankfully.  The days of “women’s and men’s duties” are long past ladies and gentlemen, we can look to the future with a less linear road to follow.  How great is that?  I would also like to say it has been a true God send being able to see my kids from when they wake up until their mom gets back and getting to know them has been the greatest gift I have ever been given.  They are, in a word, hilarious.  We will have more blogs about them, be sure of that.  Through the challenges I have faced here alone, “Dad I peed!”  “Awesome buddy!”  “No!  In my face!!!  HELP!!!”  I have also thoroughly enjoyed myself and have learned much more than my two amazing kids have.  But, I digress…

What else have I to offer a blog that is to be centered on, not just family but also Jobs, and job hunting?  Well, I am really not sure.  I know it will become more clear what I can write about in that area, but for now I can only say that of the many jobs I have had, several were offered in a time when the economy was down and I was up against hundreds of others seeking employment.  I know the biggest thing that helped me was confidence.  Part of that has to do with presenting yourself well on paper.  If you are reading Shawna’s information, this will be easier for you.  When I know I have honestly, and properly represented myself on paper, and the employer has extended the offer to interview there is one thing I tell myself, “They are already interested.”  What this does for me is, allow me to feel more comfortable and less like I have to still “impress” someone.  That way, I feel more comfortable in front of them, and most importantly, I can be myself.  It is easy for anyone to see when someone is putting you on, and who wants to hire someone who is trying to sell something that isn’t there. 

What else?  Grammar.  Yes, I am saying grammar is important.  I have found that when expressing yourself, constantly making a simple error will overshadow your qualifications in most cases.  I taught German to high school kids for 2.5 years.  The first time I noticed I was in the middle of a crisis was when a very intelligent young man in the 10th grade did not know what an adjective was… seriously?  I was to teach them another language, complete with new and different grammar rules, to students who didn’t know proper English grammar?  Impossible.  So, I taught them English grammar as we went.  Whether they know it or not, nearly all of them sounded much more intelligent when they properly used our language.  Did it make them more intelligent?  Absolutely not.  They were some of the brightest kids I have ever met, but some of them in writing sounded slightly less than educated.  Much of it was due to another key lifepoint, effort.  Something I always told students was, “You get out what you put in.”  What I mean is, make a plan, if you want 70% return for something, put 70% into it.  In seeking a job, I think it translates well.  If you want a great impression to be 100% felt, put 100% effort into it.  If you only bring a portion of your possible effort, how can you honestly expect anything more than a portion of their interest?  Effort and grammar can easily go together, because it actually takes some effort to speak and write in a grammatically correct manner.  This means… you will actually have to think about what you are saying… yikes.  When we get nervous, we tend to not think about what we are saying.  Maybe this is a subconcious effort for us to be able to seperate ourselves from the situation, I don’t know.  I only know that when I stop thinking and keep talking… I get into trouble. 

Well, I always feel inadequate when writing about things of this nature.  The reason for this, and my title questioning my legitimacy is something I once joked about on stage.  “So, what do you do with a Bachelor’s degree in the German language?  Become a stand-up comedian.”  True?  Not really, but my point is we all have the ability to feel inadequate, especially when jobless.  It is important to remember that we are NOT a degree.  We are NOT grade point averages.  We are NOT the flashy cover letter.  We are absolutely NOT a piece of paper.  Those are simply the tools to get us in the first door.  And, it isn’t our transcripts or resumes or cover letters that sit in the chair before a hiring manager to answer questions.  It is US.  We have always been, and always will be people.  And, as such each of us offer unique and wonderful traits to bring to a team in any company.  Unfortunately, those traits and abilities are sometimes easily overlooked, forgotten or simply illegitimized by the people who most need to see and believe them… ourselves. 

I leave with quotes as I often like to:  I often told my students, “Who are you?  Honestly.  Know yourself.  Truly know yourself, and always be yourself.  And, know with 100% certainty you are the only one that is just like you.”

And a quote from Wild at Heart, a series for men by John Eldridge as he quotes another author, “Don’t ask what you can do for the world, but ask what it is that makes you come alive and go there.  Because, what the world needs is people who have come alive.”