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Archive for March, 2009

Awwwwww POOP!

So, we live in an area where a lot of people have dogs. This drives Teller nuts as he is, by nature, anti-dog. We all have to walk our dogs so they can get exercise, peruse the surroundings and of course, relieve themselves. There are stations everywhere providing not only a garbage bin, but little bags to pick up each dog’s little droppings. Very quaint situation. We like it. When the bags run out, we utilize grocery bags to pick up after Teller. It’s like, recycling.

However, I seem to draw closer and closer to the conclusion that there are simply too many dog owners near us who are, well total and complete morons. They must be. You see, I know it gets confusing. The first time I walked outside, as a dog owner, I thought, “Why where will I pu… oh, nevermind. They have these quaint little stations with bags and such. How nice. Everyone here must be so responsible. How nice this will be.”

I didn’t account for the idiot factor though. I am often short-sighted like that. As usual I think, these people are adults. They really should know better than to leave their dogs’ poop laying around where kids play. My own kids, who I will admit, seem to be responsible beyond their years, often remark that people really should pick up after their dogs. My instinct isn’t so nice. I want to catch them in the act, run up, snatch the dog, leash and all and run off into the wilderness.

What we find hilarious though, is a neighbor who way more than once has stopped us outside and asked if we pick up after our dog. “Yes,” we reply showing a bag from our pocket, “always.” She stares for a moment, disbelieving and remarks at the amount of poop lying around that is clearly from small dogs. We acknowledge this fact with solemn gestures of understanding and walk away. We both think, does she realize that 98% of the dogs around here are indeed small breeds? Is she an idiot? And, if so… is SHE not picking up after her dogs!? Before we get too deep into our conspiracy theories, Teller crouches… Awwww Poop!

To extinguish any misunderstandings this post was written in part, or in full… in this case, in full, by Brian.

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Some Great Advice

“These are uncertain times.” “We’re in a recession.” “It seems no one, and no job is secure these days.” We’ve heard all the phrases being tossed around like cupcake recipes. They are all too pertinent these days, and so are the phrases. But, what can we do? Is there some way to secure one’s position at work? Is there some guarantee we can have that we’ll be employed tomorrow? I now seek answers to most of my questions from the ones who have reinstated my conservationist attitude, and concern for our planet and others. The ones who somehow defy all logic with a terribly simplistic rationale.

I was leaving for work one evening. It was my “cool job” at the mall. Usually, on my way out, I get the standard barrage of goodbyes and I love yous, but this day was different. Somehow, this day would prove to me more insightful. As I approached the door to leave, the girl shouted, in her normal upbeat tone, “Bye dad! Don’t get fired!” It escaped her mouth as any other statement would both matter-of-factly, and optimistically. I, of course, stopped dead in my tracks, turned to my wife and, as is our usual response, we both laughed the words, “What did you just say?” In stereo, our kids replied, “Don’t get fired.” “I won’t. Thanks.”

I quit soon thereafter.

This post written by the wise and mysterious man of our home.

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Angel at the Pharmacy

Well, The Boy ended up at Urgent Care last night. He started complaining about his ear in the afternoon, and by dinner time, he was screaming, and then he just fell asleep on the couch, which is never a good sign with him.

I was at an event for work when all this went down, so Brian took him to Urgent Care. I met them there. After seeing the doctor, we walked down to the pharmacy (it’s in the same building). While we were waiting for the prescription, a very sweet lady came over and said, “I’m so sorry your son isn’t feeling well. I’ve heard him crying since you came in, and it’s just breaking my heart.” We thanked her and continued to wait.

Because of all of his crying, The Boy was getting a little snotty, so I asked him if he wanted me to go find some tissue. He started crying harder and told me not to leave, so I did not leave.

Before she left, the same lady brought over a package of tissue. She gave it to Brian and said, “I heard you ask him if he needed some tissue, and I heard him get upset. So, I bought this for him. I hope he feels better soon.”

I have never been more touched by anything. A perfect stranger, out of the goodness of her heart, buying a package of tissue for my little boy. It was such a kind and loving thing to do, and it brought tears to my eyes.

I will always remember this woman. I am convinced that she is an angel.

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BOYS!

The Boy is on a roll. Twice today he has come out of his room, during nap time, to tell me that he had done something ridiculous.

Conversation #1

“Mom, I have something stuck in my nose.”
“What is it?”
“I dunno, part of that ship game maybe” (cardboard travel Battleship)

Sure enough, I found a wadded up piece of cardboard up his nose.

Conversation #2 – 20 minutes later

“Mom, something is stuck in my throat.”
“What is it? Another piece of the game?”
“No.”
“Well, what then?”
“Maybe part of that measuring thing with the dinosaurs on it” (wooden ruler)
“Did you have it in your mouth?”
“No.”
“Go get it.”
He brings it to me.
“Why is is wet?”
“I was maybe, I might have been chewing on it”.

What the? Why do boys do things like this??? Can anyone tell me how to make him stop??? You’d think he would’ve learned his lesson when this happened.

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Allow me to set the scene:  It was a cold and windy night…as cold as Southern California can be on a Sunday night in March.  It was 1:40 am or so.  Everyone in the apartment building was fast asleep, dreading the sound of their alarm clock signalling the beginning of a new week.

Suddenly, there is a noise that is simply ear piercing.  Like no noise we have ever heard.  We jumped from the bed, and run to the kids.  We take them out in their pjs, with no coats, and our tiny dog follows us.  We find everyone from the building out there, and man are they angry…not scared….angry.  Why are they angry????

Because the wind tripped the fire alarm.  At 1:40 am.  We went back inside, and waited for the noise to stop.  When it finally did, we tucked the kids back into bed…I’m sure they were asleep before we shut their bedroom door. 

Brian and I, however, laid in bed for hours, listening to the wind, and hoping that it didn’t set the alarm off again.  It didn’t.

I finally got to sleep, but when my alarm went off in the morning, I thought it was the fire alarm.

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Cheeks are Cheeks

Lately, The Boy has been walking around scratching his butt. Last night, I took a look, and found that it was a bit red. So, I put some antibiotic cream on him and had him go put pajamas on.

A few minutes later, I mentioned that his cheeks were looking a little red, which they tend to do when he gets warm. With his killer grin he said,

“Maybe you should put some of that butt medicine on my cheeks and stuff then.”

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Chicken Nuggets

This just struck me as funny.

Yesterday, we were on our way to an out-of-town party, and stopped at Wendy’s for lunch.  We were waiting for our meal at the drive-thru window.  We got our drinks and were quietly conversing among ourselves when suddenly, with great force, the lady inside opened the drive-thru window and screamed:

DO YOU WANT ANY SAUCE FOR YOUR NUGGETS??????

I jumped.  Brian jumped.  The Boy jumped.  I think The Girl may have screamed.  We said “No Thanks”, got our food, and drove away.  Before we even had the window completely rolled up, we were all cracking up and screaming:

DO YOU WANT ANY SAUCE FOR YOUR NUGGETS??????

So, if you are ever out somewhere and hear someone (or a whole family of someones) screaming:

DO YOU WANT ANY SAUCE FOR YOUR NUGGETS??????

It’s probably us.  Come on over and say hi!  Or just scream:

DO YOU WANT ANY SAUCE FOR YOUR NUGGETS??????

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