Posts Tagged ‘Parenthood’

This will be an odd post, as I am never sure what to write here.  Honestly, it’s hard to post here for me.  I don’t want to drag the professionalism down at all… I feel my posts will be few, and requested.  This, however is one I thought of that may be, at the very least, an interesting read and possibly an uplifting one if not a tad bit entertaining, that all depends on your outlook. 

If there is one thing we learn as parents, it’s that our kids teach us possibly more than we will ever teach them, or at the very least, more important teachings that we will take and keep forever.  So, that being said, there are things that, as a new dad, and as a repeat father I learned that have helped me and will continue to help me deal with “life”. 

I was young, and my baby girl was coming soon.  I was more excited and scared than I had ever been, in any situation, at any age, EVER.  When the day arrived and I was helping in the delivery room, recovering from my wife’s proposal to her anesthesiologist (I don’t think she was serious…) the moment came.  My daughter entered the world.  Now, of course it was not that simple, nor in any way easy, but that story becomes too graphic as I describe it, and isn’t necessary to this post.  (You’re welcome Shawna)  My wife summed up the horrific event (yeah, it’s quite horrific for the most part) with a statement that rings true to this day.  Despite her pain, fear and utter and complete pain… did I mention pain?  Despite the exhaustion and what appeared to be, by all accounts a failure until The Girl entered the world, my wife uttered the words, “I love her so much already.”  The triumph overcame and overshadowed everything else.  In that moment we were whole.  In that moment, despite how difficult the journey was, despite the pain and weakness and all of that, there was the victory that surpassed it all.  And, although we certainly won’t forget the incredible journey pain and all, what we will hold hard and fast to is the triumph, the love.  The humility and the utter admiration I hold for what my wife had done, and who my daughter was. 

Touching?  I know.  Well, it can’t last forever.  Here is my take on more “learnings” in this area.  We had moved to my mom’s (mother-in-law, but I don’t call her that) and I was walking downstairs with The Girl in arm.  I missed the second of around 12 steps.  We went down. Fatherly instincts kicked in, and I gathered her into me, and took the full grunt of the fall on my back.  At the bottom I sprang up as if there were springs loaded inside my backside triggered to go off at impact.  ARISE young father and what next!?  I handed off my daughter to my mom, as I was in no shape to hold her any longer, the pain was growing.  So, this was a tough situation.  The triumph was not only in the obvious, The Girl was completely fine, and I wasn’t injured badly, but also in another moment; a moment that will no doubt be repeated throughout our lives.  While I held fast to my little bundle, my wife (and possibly her mom, I don’t remember) dropped EVERYTHING she was carrying.  I mean, she dropped everything.  Victory was, in the wise words of Stewie, mine.  I see triumph all over that story.  -Another, I was changing The Girl’s diaper in the same house, upstairs on the dresser changing table.  First was the day of the ‘powder fart’ yeah, it happens and did, and that in itself was a triumph.  But, this is a slightly darker story.  As I leaned down to be sure I had cleared all the… miscreants… is that the right word?  Works for me.  I leaned ever so slightly down and right, and upon rising with a triumphant smile I felt that the right side of my head was heavier than previously… the shout rang out.  “Help!  I have poop in my hair!”  The triumph?  Not sure, it might belong to The Girl, but it’s funny. 

Recently, potty training is fun.  (If you are an outsider watching from a safe distance who can leave at any time.)  Honestly though, one major thing I have learned is that my kids, despite all their failures and all the accidents that you thought may cause permanent damage, always see the triumphs and ignore the rest.  The Girl, after a long and horrible time on the pot, emerged triumphant with a wonderful thought.  “If you use your imagination, your poop can be anything you want it to be.”  Ahhhh, wise words spoken clearly and thoughtfully, a certain victory in my book.  And, more recently, The Boy, who is certainly coming into his own as a wonderful addition to our family, gave me a mixed message.  “Dad!”  “Yeah?”  “I peed!!!”  “Awesome buddy!  That’s gr…”  “In my face!!!”  “What!!??  Oh my gosh!  Hold on!”  Again, do you see the triumph?  Maybe not, but he was on the potty.  He made it there and his pants were dry, even if his face wasn’t.  And, he learned that it’s not worth it to watch how things work through that crack beneath the seat. 

I know this may not ‘truly’ be a grouping of triumphant tales, but amidst it all, triumph is evident, and it is what we will take with us, and why we remember these moments.  In life, as in parenthood, there will be failures, utter failures, unreadable failures, unforeseen and inexplicable failures, but be reassured readers, amidst them are most certainly triumphs.  I promise.  In losing my teaching job, a job I honestly with 100% certainty loved like no other (aside from entertaining, which I did there also :)) I felt miserable.  I felt like a failure.  But, the triumph was realizing I had been there.  My students loved me.  Most parents and staff loved me.  I had made an impact.  I could move on, head held high and learn from it.  My next job was filled with annoyance, liars and bad management.  I did not skate by as I would have, I stood up, and I said what I thought, what everyone thought, and things began to change.  Too slowly perhaps, as many left, but the point is, I did not like the place, but took hold of triumph and I triumphed in the face of most managers there, including the VP.  We will never be measured by failures, but rather by the victories, great or small.  So why let those failures, great or small, take you down.  Gather yourself and remember that no matter how bad things seem; if you use your imagination, your poop can be anything you want it to be. 


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